［公共］童工問題

最近忙外交小尖兵，拙作演講稿在此呈給大家，冀各位夥伴們不嫌粗鄙，再此向各位請益對童工問題的看法，謝謝指教。
P.S.解放兒童的書與網站值得一讀，在此推薦給大家www.freethechildren.com
〈Speech Contest : Free & Save The Children〉 -by 孫語辰2008/8/2
1. Questions:
a. Have you ever spared a thought for the poor and underprivileged children and teenagers in our world or community? What have you observed?
b. And what can you do to help improve the situation?
2. Main Ideas:
a. Beginning:
ⅠOpening:( e.g. Good day, honorable judges and audience. We are team (number). It’s our pleasure to present some opinions relating to a global issue right now here.)
ⅡIntroduction:( e.g. As everybody knows, lots of people in the society pursue fame and fortune for themselves only. What they want is owning as much as possible, but they’ve never check as if they had had something made by workers who are still in their childhood or adolescence like us.)
b. Free the Children (FTC):
ⅠFacts:( e.g. As a result, we firstly need to introduce one inspiring book ,《Free the Children》for you because you can get a vivid description of child labors living in poverty in Southeast Asia from it. There, many carpet factory owners claim that if children work for them, they’ll promise to help their family both ends meet and provide them opportunities for education in order to hire cheaper workers than adults. Some families make deals and sacrifice their children in sorrow because of their financial problems. However, those parents can’t imagine that their children won’t get paid and chances of learning at last. They live in misery and never return home from then on resulted from the torture from the factory owners since they punish them if their attitude toward working isn’t as satisfying as expect. Some of those poor children are even sent to complete dangerous tasks such as separating used hypodermic syringes with no protection, not knowing they can easily be infected with AIDS. Based on those unfair facts, lots of people hold international protest against products made by child labors but don’t know that their “positive” action leads to child labors’ firing and their economic become worse.)
ⅡObserve:(e.g. From the story above, we get to know the painful life of child labors being found everywhere in developing countries such as Indonesia, China, Malaysia, as well as developed ones like America, where they work as servants. However, it seems wrong to improve this situation by movements declining buying child- labor-made products. Therefore, we need to think before leap and take right actions immediately.)
c. Save the Children:
ⅠIntroduction:(e.g. Now we should learn another international NGO ,“Save the Children” for our further introduction. From its website, we find lots of strategies to help child labors. According to the information we’ve mentioned and a professor interviewed, the best way to solve this contentious issue is focus on their economic problems first and be much aware of human right then, just like one quote from 《Analects of Confucius》,” Make people rich first and teach them manners afterwards.(先富而後教之).” )
ⅡStrategies:
α.Economics:(e.g. In the part of economics, notice how to help them in a harmless way is what we should do. We both need to give pressure and a “financial” hand to improve the developing countries’ governments’ abilities of creating economic growth and make them put efforts in it though the United Nations (U.N.). One famous example is Microfinance established by Unus, which make the poor live on their own. That way, child labors’ families won’t lost supports suddenly and can get local help, not far away from other countries internationally.)
β.Health & Living Condition:(e.g. Then, health-care facilities is another importance needed to be concerned stands from surroundings for living are often below average in developing countries. Clean air water and food are essential to we human beings, otherwise they’ll cause the spread of diseases. Send enough numbers of doctors and pros annually from the United Nations is one way we can try.)
γ.Education:(e.g. The last one, education, which contains the idea of human rights, is often regarded as the most automatic solution. Once we teach them critical thinking skills, those child labors will know how to fight for their own rights against cruel factory owners and be no longer nobodies. Some international organizations like Cih-ji (慈濟) and the World Vision (世界展望會) are now trying to build schools in underprivileged areas out of education resources.
δ.Participation:(e.g. Most importantly, we need to commit that participation is the most decisive step, although all what we talked about above are necessities to the advance of child labors’ living situation. As one proverb says, “Actions speak louder than words,” the unfair treatment child labors get won’t decrease if we only ask how to do with no practice. Opportunities for volunteer trips abroad and donating are now offered on the Internet by the organization “Free the Children (FTC)” in order to let you make a difference in their lives on the scene. Even though you can’t do so, the website still has certain spaces where you can create a blog mainly discussing global topics to arouse more awareness and joining.
d. Ending:(e.g. This is the end of our introduction and hope you’re satisfied and moved by it. Thank you for your listening and have a nice day.)
3.Information Origins:
a. Free the Children (FTC), both book and website
b. Save the Children, website
c. Cih-ji and the World Vision, website

　　只想請教一個問題...請問有沒有中文版ＱＱ？

What have you observed?

What do you observe?

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It’s our pleasure to present some opinions relating to a global issue right now here.

It’s our pleasure to present some opinions relating to a global issue here.

I think you mean now but the phrase right now doesnt actually equal now. On the other hand, now sounds redundant in this sentence since you will be giving your speech then.

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What they want is owning as much as possible, but they've never check as if they had had something made by workers who are still in their childhood or adolescence like us.

Ive got no idea why you use as if. Do you mean they (people in pursuit of fame and fortune) never perceive their products are made by young people? If so, I will probably go for:

What they want is owning as much as possible, but they’ve never checked whether their products are made by workers who are still in their childhood or adolescence like us.

Also, have is followed by past participle.

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As a result, we firstly need to introduce one inspiring book ,《Free the Children》for you because you can get a vivid description of child labors living in poverty in Southeast Asia from it.

To begin with, we need to introduce one inspiring book ,《Free the Children》, for you because from the book you can get a vivid description of child labors living in poverty in Southeast Asia.

A few comments:

1) There are no reasons in your context; hence using as a result doesnt make sense. I reckon this is a formal speech so reason and result must be clarified.
2) Firstly sounds tad old-fashioned and cliched. IMO the better choice would be 'to begin with' - just a little suggestion though.
3) Leaving prepositions to the end of the sentence is not encouraged. Its grammatically correct, but its not the best way in terms of writing. So I put it to the middle of the sentence.

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...they’ll promise to help their family both ends meet and provide them opportunities for education in order to hire cheaper workers than adults.

...they’ll promise to help their family both make ends meet and provide them opportunities of education in order to hire cheaper workers than adults.

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Some families make deals and sacrifice their children in sorrow because of their financial problems.

Sacrifice their children what? Sounds like the factories take their childrens life. I
think the more reasonable texts might be:

Some families make deals and sacrifice their children's rights in sorrow because of their financial problems.

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...won’t get paid and chances of learning at last.

...won’t get paid and chances of learning after all.

There are subtle differences between English and Chinese - I know you probably mean "最後" in Chinese but in English at last and after all are slightly different. I dont know how it exactly goes...people just dont talk like that *shrug*

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They live in misery and never return home from then on resulted from the torture from the factory owners since they punish them if their attitude toward working isn’t as satisfying as expect.

They live in misery and never return home from then on, which is resulted from the torture from the factory owners since they punish them if their attitude toward working isn’t as satisfying as expected.

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Some of those poor children are even sent to complete dangerous tasks such as...

Some of those poor children are even sent to a completely dangerous environment to do tasks such as...

1) 'to be sent to' means someone is coercively placed in a certain surroundings. Task, obviously, is incorrect.
2) Adverbs are used to modify verbs, adjectives and adverbs.

*

Based on those unfair facts, lots of people hold international protest against products made by child labors but don’t know that their “positive” action leads to child labors’ firing and their economic become worse.

Based on those unfair facts, lots of people hold international protests against products made by child labors but they don’t know that their "positive" action leads to child labors' firing and their economy becoming worse.

*

Im starving now. Will be back to finish the rest.

童工 人權 經濟 衛生等問題在許多開發中國家是很普遍也亟待解決的問題
工廠的老闆挾雄厚的資金 控制生產工具 來達到用低廉的價格聘僱勞工
曾是世界工廠的英國就是第一個因資本主義而出現童工的國家
著名的英國大文豪查爾斯 狄更斯筆下的孤雛淚或許就是反映當時的英國吧
後來英國和歐陸國家還因資本主義帶來的衝擊發展社會福利組織
看到人文營的同學對各方面的問題都這麼關心
真的是讓我很感動的說
可以問一下發文的同學你參加的外交小尖兵是哪一個組織
是非政府組織(Non-Government Organization) 還是慈濟或者the world vision 很好奇
我會去讀那一本書
Free the Children

” Make people rich first and teach them manners afterwards.(先富而後教之).”

著實不錯 不能滿足生理上的需求 其他方面的問題已至於精神層面的需求怎能被滿足呢

From the story above, we get to know the painful life of child labors being found everywhere in developing countries such as Indonesia, China, Malaysia, as well as developed ones like America, where they work as servants.

From the story above, we get to know the painful life of child labors is found everywhere in developing countries such as Indonesia, China, Malaysia, as well as developed ones like America, where they work as slaves.

Again, English has got some subtlety that Chinese cannot easily express. Servant and slave both mean ‘the person who serves another’ if you look them up in the dictionary while in English, slave has a deeper meaning - one who works extremely hard and usually gets low or even no paid. I think thats what you want to refer to.

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Therefore, we need to think before leap and take right actions immediately.

Therefore, we need to think before leaping and taking action immediately.

Take action is a phrase - hence theres no need to add ‘s’. Also, before is a preposition.

*

According to the information we’ve mentioned and a professor interviewed, the best way to solve this contentious issue is focus on their economic problems first and be much aware of human right then, just like one quote from 《Analects of Confucius》,” Make people rich first and teach them manners afterwards.(先富而後教之).” )

According to the information we’ve mentioned and a professor weve interviewed, the best way to solve this contentious issue is to focus on their economic problems first and then be more aware of human rights, just like one quote from Analects of Confucius - ”Make people rich first and teach them manners afterwards.”

《The name of the book》is only used in Chinese. In English we italicise or underline the title.

*

In the part of economics, notice how to help them in a harmless way is what we should do.

In terms of economics, noticing how to help them in a harmless way is what we should do.

‘part of…’ is often used in sentences like Many parts of the country are likely to rain today and that kind of things. Id suggest you write in the economics part or in terms of economics (which is even better than the previous one) to avoid misunderstanding.

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We both need to give pressure and a “financial” hand to improve the developing countries’ governments’ abilities of creating economic growth and make them put efforts in it though the United Nations (U.N.).

?
Im totally confused. What do you mean by make them put efforts in it though the United Nations?

*

One famous example is Microfinance established by Unus, which make the poor live on their own. That way, child labors’ families won’t lost supports suddenly and can get local help, not far away from other countries internationally.

One famous example is Microfinance, established by Unus, which makes the poor live on their own. That way, child labors’ families won’t suddenly lost support and can get international help from neighbouring regions.


*

Then, health-care facilities is another importance needed to be concerned stands from surroundings for living are often below average in developing countries.

Health-care facilities is another important point needed to be concerned for the living surroundings are often below average in developing countries.

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Send enough numbers of doctors and pros annually from the United Nations is one way we can try.

Sending enough number of doctors and pros annually from the United Nations is one way we can try.

1) When it comes to quantity, number is uncountable.
2 ) You often forget using verb with -ing form when theres already a verb in the sentence.

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The last one, education, which contains...

Lastly, education, which contains...

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Once we teach them critical thinking skills, those...

Once we teach them critical thinking, those...

Id just say ‘critical thinking’ in order to keep the sentence neat as critical thinking skills is somewhat very weird to an English ear.

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Some international organizations like Cih-ji (慈濟) and the World Vision (世界展望會) are now trying to build schools in underprivileged areas out of education resources.

Some international organizations like Cih-ji (慈濟) and World Vision (世界展望會) are now trying to build schools in underprivileged areas to provide education resources.

I dont know why you use out of. Theres a phrase ‘built A out of B’ which means A is made of B, but it doesnt make sense at all in the context so I guess using to provide here would be logical.

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Most importantly, we need to commit that participation is the most decisive step, although all what we talked about above are necessities to the advance of child labors’ living situation.

Although what we talked about above are necessities of the advance of child labors’ living situation, most importantly, we need to practise, which is the most decisive step.

1) The word commit means ‘to do something guilty or illegal’. Instead, I choose a better word practise for it has the positive meaning.
2) I put although to the beginning of the sentence - if your clause appear first, your audience, especially in a speech, may possibly get confused because of the unnatural sequence.

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Opportunities for volunteer trips abroad and donating are now offered on the Internet by the organization “Free the Children (FTC)” in order to let you make a difference in their lives on the scene.

Volunteers' opportunities of tripping abroad and donation are now offered on the Internet by the organization called "Free the Children (FTC)", in order to let you make a difference in their lives.

What do you mean by on the scene? On the scene means to appear.

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Apologise for hijacking the thread, but I just cant help doing the correction lol Overall, nice one mate. I think youve done quite a great job.

我如果有空來把它翻譯吧=w=